Conversations with Strange Men Part One.

Why do drunk men always seem to talk to me? This happened earlier at a tea dance. Yes that's right, a tea dance! No alcohol available apparently.

Him: Do you know your eyes are the most amazing colour?
Me: Er...
Him: The most amazing blue. Are they real?
Me: No, both glass.
Him: I'm really drunk you know?
Me: Really? And it's only 11 in the morning...?
Him: Haven't stopped since last night. Your eyes....I expect people tell you that all the time.
Me: Occasionally, but thankyou.
Him: They look like my Dad's when he was on morphine.
Me: Right. And is he OK now?
Him: Yeah recovered and got his dream job couting newts at some nature sanctuary.
Me: Great! So why do you have one finger nail painted red?
Him: (laugh) I was taken advantage of by a young lady last night, but I can't quite remember.
Me: So she like paints one finger nail before she leaves, like a Mark of Zorro?
Him: You're so funny. Has anyone ever said your eyes are so...
Me: I think you're a louche character.
Him: I'm not loose.
Me: No... louche.
Him: What's that mean?